[BC] KSWP/KAVX woes (Lufkin, Texas)

[RichardBJohnson at comcast.net]

The owner of a religious radio station was returning from his usual weekend bash at the whorehouse behind the casino when, stricken with a terrible hangover, he ran his car over a busload of schoolchildren, crashed into liquor store, died, and went straight to hell.

The devil met him at the entrance to hell and told him that he had many residents who would like to participate in religious radio shows so he was being assigned the project of building a large religious radio network, just as he had done while living on the earth. The devil started by giving him a blank check with which to order any equipment he wanted. The devil said that he would check with the station owner periodically, to see how he was doing.

Over the next several months, the station owner ordered and installed complete studio and transmitting facilities. Many former FCC Commissioners coached him and several retired Chief Engineers helped install the equipment as well. Since rules compliance of radio facilities in hell is unenforceable, the station owner installed the highest power radio transmitters available, and put one on every radio frequency! The station owner was having fun.

Periodically, the devil would stop by, ask how the project was going, and inquire if the station owner had any questions or needed any assistance. Each time, the owner told the devil about the wonderful new equipment that had been installed, and the various radio talent he had lined up for "talk radio" programs. The owner had already signed up several Christian charlatans as well as Eichmann and Hitler for introductory broadcasts.

However, all was not well at the radio station in hell. Eventually, during one of the devil's visits, the station owner told him about a problem he was having. "Here, we have almost a million watts on every broadcasting frequency in the world. We are modulating 200 percent, and even run IBOC. However, we do not have any ratings on Arbitron, and we cannot line up any sponsors! What is going wrong?"

"That," said the devil "is the hell of it!"

Cheers,
Richard B. Johnson
Book: http://www.AbominableFirebug.com/

----- Original Message -----
From: "Dana Puopolo" <dpuopolo at usa.net>

It's been my experience that the stations that try and screw me the most are
the god squadders.
Perhaps it's because they believe that god will forgive them for being
crooks-because they are spreading 'his' word.