[BC] Definition of an Engineer

[Jack Gardner]

 What is the definition of an engineer?

 Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had  in a way
 you don't understand.

 When does a person decide to become an engineer?
 When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.

 What do engineers use for birth control?
 Their personalities (same as attorneys).

 How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
 When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

 Why did the engineers cross the road?
 Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

 How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
 Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a drawing the
 wrong way.

 You might be an engineer if:
 .. choosing to buy flowers for your girlfriend or upgrading your RAM
 is a moral dilemma

 .. you take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room

 .. in college you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure

 .. the sales people at the local computer store can't answer any of your
 questions

 .. at an air show you know how fast the skydivers are falling

 .. you bought your wife a new CD-ROM drive for her birthday

 .. you comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel

 .. you sit backwards on the Disneyland rides to see how they do
 the special effects

 .. you have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances

 .. you have more friends on the Internet than in real life

 . you know what  HREF="http://64.4.14.250/cgi-bin/linkrd?_lang=EN&
 lah=218a6f30e6880f53b47d73e558e48237&lat=1015000722&
 hm___action=http%3a%2f%2f"http:// stands for

 .. you spent more money on your calculator than you did on
 your wedding ring

 .. you still own a slide rule and know how to use it

 .. your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work

 .. you've tried to repair a $5 radio

 .. you've already calculated how much you make per second 

 
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